Lost My Keys Again: Funky Rant

Coffee’s getting cold, my shoes are on the wrong feet

I’ve checked the bowl, the coat, the seat beneath the seat

I pat my pockets like a man who’s lost his mind

The keys were here yesterday—today they’ve declined

I ask the dog, he gives me that look

I check the fridge, then check the fridge again

I’m late, I’m loud, I’m making a scene

And there they are—right where I’ve been

Where are my keys? Where are my keys?

I’m searching every room on hands and knees

Where are my keys? Come on, don’t tease!

They’re in my hand—how can this be?

I found them in the laundry with a sock from last July

Then once inside the freezer—don’t ask me why

I made a little hook by the door, a solid plan

This morning I lost the hook. I’m a very busy man

I ask the cat, she knocks a pen

I check the bowl, then check it once again

My whole routine is falling apart

I hear that little jingle—and clutch my heart

Where are my keys? Where are my keys?

I’m searching every room on hands and knees

Where are my keys? Come on, don’t tease!

They’re in my hand—how can this be?

Tomorrow I’ll be calm, composed, and wise

I’ll put them in one place and keep my eyes

On that one place—yes, that’s the plan

Now where’d I put the plan? Oh, man!

Where are my keys? Where are my keys?

I’m checking every pocket, every sleeve

Where are my keys? Everybody, please!

They’re in my hand—how can this be?

Where are my keys? I found them—great!

Now I can’t remember where I parked the car!

Keys in my hand, keys in my hand

I’m leaving now—well, that’s the plan