Seen at 2 A.M.: Grime Group Chat Diss

Oi, group chat—there he is.

Seen at ten, replied in June.

You read that message, then vanished for a week,

Two blue ticks shining, not a word when we speak.

We asked, “Pub at seven?” You left us on read,

Now the table’s got a place card: “Probably in bed.”

You type three dots, then you bottle the send,

Even your phone thinks you’re hard to befriend.

Your thumbs got a contract, they’re paid to sit still,

You’ve got more unread courage than a mountain to kill.

Read, read, no reply,

We can see you, mate—don’t act shy.

Read, read, let us know,

Thumbs on holiday, moving real slow.

We sent you the address, the time, and the door,

You heart-reacted last year—what could we ask for more?

Your “one sec” takes longer than a council queue,

The chat’s got a sequel; we’re still waiting on you.

We made you a poll: “Are you coming tonight?”

You viewed every option, then dodged them outright.

Even the group admin’s sent a search-party meme,

You’re not mysterious, pal—you’re just bad at the screen.

Read, read, no reply,

We can see you, mate—don’t act shy.

Read, read, let us know,

Thumbs on holiday, moving real slow.

No beef, just jokes—come out for a pint,

Send us one sentence, even “nah, not tonight.”

We’ll save you a seat and we’ll spare you the roast—

Actually, too late; you’re the chat’s favourite ghost.

Now you’ve replied “lol” to a message from March,

That’s not a comeback, that’s a digital arch—

Of time, over which your response had to travel,

We’d have got there quicker by posting a parcel.

So put down the phone? No, pick it up, please,

One little “I’m in” would bring us all ease.

You’ve got one last chance, don’t leave us on read—

Send “see you soon,” then get out of bed.

Read, read, no reply,

We can see you, mate—don’t act shy.

Read, read, let us know,

Thumbs on holiday, moving real slow.

Seen at ten.

Reply pending.

Since forever.